April 2026 Monthy Cheese Club: "Grape" Expectations!
Hello, Curd Nerds and Fromage Fanatics!
Welcome to another month of "whey-ted" anticipation! This month, we’re getting a little tipsy—well, the cheese is, anyway. We are diving headfirst into the marvelous world of wine-washed and booze-bathed beauties. If you’ve ever looked at a block of cheese and thought, "This is great, but what if it took a long, relaxing soak in a tub of Tempranillo?" then this month’s box is your literal dream come true. Historically, cheesemakers started boozing up their rinds to keep the bad molds away, but they accidentally discovered that it makes the cheese taste like a fruity, funky party.
Now, before you hide the keys or worry about the little ones, let’s clear the air: these cheeses are the ultimate "designated drivers." While they’ve been pampered with wine, spirits, and bubbly during their glow-up in the aging cave, the actual alcohol says "adios" long before it hits your plate. What’s left behind is just the sophisticated, fruity essence of the vine. That means these three picks are 100% family-friendly, non-drinker approved, and perfect for toddlers and grandparents alike. It’s all the flavor with zero of the "where did I leave my shoes?" energy.
1. Cabra al Vino (The "Drunken Goat")
The Vibe: A Spanish vacation in pajamas.
The Lowdown: This goat is the life of the party. It’s a mild, creamy gem from Murcia that spends 72 hours skinny-dipping in local red wine. This gives it a fabulous purple "outfit" (the rind) and a flavor that is shockingly mellow and sweet—not "goaty" or tangy at all.
Pro Tip: It’s purple. Use this to convince your kids they are eating "Magic Dragon Cheese." It works every time.
2. Champagne Washed Harbison
The Vibe: Pinkies up, spoons out.
The Lowdown: Our friends at Jasper Hill Farm took their legendary, bark-wrapped Harbison and gave it the spa treatment with a sparkling wine wash. It’s gooey, spoonable, and smells like a forest floor in the best way possible. The champagne wash adds a little "zip" and a bright, yeasty finish that makes it taste like a buttery croissant dipped in luxury.
Pro Tip: Do not try to slice this. Just cut the top off and dive in with a baguette like you’re excavating delicious, salty gold.
3. Port Wine Derby
The Vibe: Like a British detective in a velvet smoking jacket.
The Lowdown: This is basically a classic English Derby cheese that decided to get some "tattoos." The Port wine is marbled throughout, creating stunning purple veins that make it look like a piece of edible art. It tastes like a creamy cheddar had a secret love affair with a bowl of dark berries.
Pro Tip: This is the ultimate "show-off" cheese for your charcuterie board. It looks expensive, but it tastes like a comforting, fruity snack.
🥨 The "Crunch" Factor: Rustic Bakery Apricot & Brandy Crisps
We couldn't give you all this "spirited" cheese without a crunchy companion! We’ve tucked a box of Rustic Bakery’s Apricot & Brandy Crisps into your delivery this month. These thin, twice-baked crisps are loaded with sweet dried apricots and just a hint of brandy essence. They are the perfect "boozy-but-not-actually" base for any of this month's cheeses—the sweetness of the fruit makes that Port Wine Derby absolutely sing.
🍷 The "No-Hangover" Checklist
Don't Be a Fridge-Eater: Cold cheese is sad cheese. Give these beauties 45 minutes on the counter to wake up and start "sweating" (that’s the flavor coming to the surface!).
The Rind Report: Yes, you can eat the rinds on the Goat and the Derby! For the Harbison, eat the gooey inside and leave the bark/outer rind behind.
Stay cheesy, friends!